90s vs Now

From MSN Chat to SnapChat: how to feel nostalgic for a really pretty naff decade.

I was on break duty recently when I heard a student singing the opening rap of Fresh Prince of Bel Air. They said they’d been watching it on Netflix. Apparently this can no longer be used as a benchmark for a ’90s childhood so I need to regroup and reassess. Here is my new collection of ’90s tells.

Bloody Netflix- coming here and ruining our cultural references.

You know all the words to Everything I Do I Do It For You

My sister had it on tape. Knowing what a tape is will also be sign.

Can be interchanged with Love is All Around

Now if you like someone you send them a naked selfie. Then you used to make them a friendship bracelet.

And even that was pretty forward.

All teens knew how to make these. Photo credit: Siesta Crafts

Now, you have pencilled on eyebrows and a full set of contouring for a school day. Then, you had a fruity lip balm and two sassy bits of hair pulled out the front of your ponytail.

And instead of a Beyoncé endorsed perfume, you had Body Shop White Musk.

Your hair stuck to it and you kept it in your pencil case

Now, the sounds of youth are tinny RnB played over a phone and the chimes of notifications. Then, it was bing-bing-whistle of dial up.

And the landline ringing and you pounding up the stairs shouting ‘I’ll get it!’

These were savage high tech

Now you need an app and a therapist to be on it. Then, you needed a folder with a bucket tonne of plastic wallets.

Made you feel good.

Notes: writers’ own

Now role models are shouty YouTubers and billionaire brunettes. Then, you wanted to cool of Claire Danes circa My So Called Life

And the boobs of Sally from Neighbours

Boob idol Photocredit: tuans.info

Then you could coast school, get ‘political’ about animal testing and drink through uni and know you’ll be able to afford a house. Now, you’re the first generation to be worse off than your parents and get angry about Brexit and austerity.

And now I get why Netflix have bought back Fresh Prince: sometimes you need a reminder of simpler times.

Now they will but they’ll have other things to be mad about

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