Halloween: a how to guide

Last year was the first time we had celebrated Halloween and we were going hard [then] going home. Here’s a guide for you and your loved ones this ‘ween. 

1) Google costume ideas

Key words: ‘cheap’ and ‘low input’. Realise all that controlled crying and puréed foods that parenting forums told you would make your child a serial killer was excellent prep for Google images suggestions for boys’ costumes:


Search for girls’ costume ideas in the  hope it will provide inspiration for how to make a pumpkin outfit from a pillow case. Mostly it shows you how to make a seven year old girl look like a fresher on the pull:

2) Let the kids choose

Put a pile of clothes from World Book Day/unused handmedowns and let the kids rustle something up. William dressed in a vampire outfit because he thought it made him look ‘smart’. It did. It made him look like a car salesman circa ’92. Alex squeezed in to some fire hazard we found in the fancy dress box. Done!

Bowled over
3) Hit the streets

Always worth warning the neighbours that you’re coming. We expect ours to perform a convincing ‘gosh what a terrifying shock’ performance when we knock so I like to give them 24 hours to rehearse/buy sweets from One Stop. When we went knocking, William got his holidays all in a muddle and gave out hot fistfuls of melted chocolate coins with a hearty call of ‘merry Halloween!’ to our bemused/tolerant neighbours.  

4) Home by 6

‘Is it the middle of the night, mummy?!’

‘Yes. That’s why it’s so dark! Off to bed my little vampire’

‘Mummy, what’s a vampire?’

5) Lights out

No one wants to lay eyes on an under-30 once their own children are asleep. Once our kids are sparko on a Halloween eve, the Wig Wearer and I like to turn the lights off at the front of the house and pretend we’re not in: who’s being tricked now, suckers!

We’re coming to get you!

3 thoughts on “Halloween: a how to guide

  1. First time at all really. I had hippy parents so never celebrated it as a child. I do love an early trick or treat – thank goodness for the early evenings in the Uk meaning it’s pitch black by 4!

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