Six Questions Scuzzy Parents Ask Themselves  

1) Exactly how long has that fruit bar been in my jacket pocket?

If I just brush the fluff off…

2)  What is WITH the scale of the ninky nonk?

Head. Fuck.

3) How flexible are petite filous best before dates?

Probably fine

4)  How many snacks can be squished in to a car seat before it becomes unroadworthy?

Probably fine

5) Is it ever ok to eat from the buffet at a kids’ birthday party?

Chuck us a Wotsit, Wills

6) What would I be doing right now if I didn’t have children…?


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